Tears (Invader Zim AU)
by Mumi Why
Summary: It's all normal, there's no need to worry. It's what I'll tell myself. I'm normal, they just don't know. It's completely normal. I'll say that. I am Zim. I am a human. I am normal and fine.
1. Chapter 1

**Note : This is not the kind of story with happiness and romance around every corner.**

I am _strong_. I can do it. I can do more than sitting around being useless while everyone else does things.

I will go to school.

Yes. I will.

Probably.

Maybe.

Maybe not.

I can't. But I know that I have to.

Just because I'm smaller doesn't make me bad.

I am _Zim_!

But the school year started months ago. I feel sick. I feel scared. But I have to how I'm not worthless. My brothers. I don't know their actual names.

They never said to me.

Thy told me to call them these:

"Red" and "Purple".

They say that others wouldn't want me. That's true.

I'm sure it is.

They act nice a lot.

I like them.

They care about me. But they still punish me.

Maybe I'm better off without them.

No, that's fake.

People told me that before. I haven't seen them since.

I know they were lying,

I will tell Red and Purple I'm going to school tomorrow.

It's too late in the day now.

I run into one of them. I don't know who. They yell something at me, and then the other comes.

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" I quickly apologize.

"I want to go to school!" I add on, hoping that the apology will be enough for me.

I am _Zim_! It doesn't matter if I'm small.

Or it might.

I'm told it matters.

It must matter.

I can't let myself think otherwise, or I'll be risking punishment.

"You?" Red laughs.

"You're a weak, small, ugly boy!" Purple adds on.

I want to cry.

But it's really fine.

It's normal. I shouldn't behave bad, it's my fault if they do anything,

"But I can do it!" I say. I'm sure that I can.

What did I expect them to say, though?

I have to go to school.

I'd prove my worth, and become the best student ever.

I'd no longer be seen as a boy with a skin condition.

I'd be seen as an amazing person.

"But I have to! I _must_ go!" I beg. Red and Purple just laugh.

Now I really want to cry.

"Just let me! I'll be so good and you're going to be so proud of me!" I added hopefully.

"Maybe."

I don't know what to say. I go to my room to think about the response.

I might go!

I might get to go to school!

I take my little dog stuffed animal, GIR, and squeeze him.

"GIR, I might go," I whisper. I wish he could talk to me.

"GIR, if I don't go, what will I do? Maybe I'll just die if I don't go."


	2. Chapter 2

I'm scared.

It's the day I might go to school.

I walk into the living room.

"Am I gonna go? Am I gonna go?" I asked, anticipation clouding my thoughts.

"Yes, you're gonna go, you little idiot!" One of my brothers growls.

I nod. Inside, I'm secretly bursting with joy, but also I'm terrified.

What if they hate me?

What if I get bullied?

What if something bad happens?

"And go get your dumb toy. We don't want it around here," I hear the other say.

I push any negative thoughts out of my mind.

I'm strong.

I'm brave.

I am _Zim_!

I will get GIR.

They better not think anything else!

I do get GIR.

"GIR, we're gonna go to school," I whisper. I'm scared.

I'm excited.

I have too many feelings to count.

Most of all, I'm ready.

Definetly ready.

I prepare. But I don't know what to expect.

I take a breath, and walk outside for the first time I can remember.

"GIR, let's go."

I walk alone.

Something tells me I always will.

I close my eyes for a second. To avoid stares.

But I have to open them.

I can't keep hiding, but I really want to.

Why did I make such a stupid choice as to go to school?

I'll surely get punished if I am to back down now.

School.

It suddenly seems so threatening.

More people.

Nobody wants me.

Red and Purple do want me.

I think.

Hope.

Know.

I'm sure that they want me.

Someone wants me.

That's a good thing.

The stares seem to be growing longer and more frequent.

I break into a run. I want them to just ignore me!

How much would that cost?

A lot, apparently.

The walk seems like it takes hours.

"GIR, guess what," I pretend he answers me.

"GIR, we're here."


	3. Chapter 3

I walk in the class.

I'm not surprised by the stares.

I look different.

For a start, I've got green skin.

And invisible, tiny ears and nose.

I look like a freak.

I try to ignore the stares.

It's hard.

But I can do it.

Probably.

Maybe.

Probably Not.

I can't do it.

I take a seat.

I see a boy looking astonished and excited.

And annoyed.

"Now, come on, am I the only one who's seeing the alien sitting in class?" I heard him ask, obviously irritated.

I know who he's talking about.

Me.

I see the other students look around for an alien.

At least they've got enough sense to see I'm normal.

A student suddenly pipes up:

"Geez, Dib! I don't see an alien, you're crazy!"

I'm surprised.

Why would they defend me?

It's the first time.

Then the 'Dib' kid gets up to the chalkboard.

He draws a diagram of a generic person.

Then of me.

He says it's evidence I'm an alien.

The others say it's evidence he's crazy.

He scoffs, believing he's always right.

He isn't right.

I am normal.

I listen to the teacher ramble about everything and anything.

We end up having to leave.

Dib is following me.

I run.

He chases me.

"Leave me alone!" I race down the sidewalk, trying desperately to get to my house.

He catches me.

He tackles me.

I'm in pain.

I try to get up.

I feel dizzy.

I fall back down.

Dib is grinning.

I want to cry.

I see that he took Gir.

I can't get up.

Everything hurts.

Blackness.

I wake up on the cold sidewalk hours later.

I see Gir beside me, only a little dirty.

I don't try to get up.

"Gir, will it always be like this?"


	4. Chapter 4

I don't know how long I lay there.

Aware and unaware at the same time, unresponsive to anyone who talks to me.

I wonder if I should just end.

Die of thirst or hunger.

It almost seems nice.

Peaceful.

But I won't give up.

I give up.

I am _Zim_!

I know that I should get up now.

It hurts to stand.

I know that I'm still in a somewhat dazed state.

I pick up Gir.

"Gir, we're going home now," I act as if he's responding to me. It comforts me, in some odd way.

I stand there for a good minute or two.

Then, I come to my senses. I need to go back!

I trudge forward, and I notice it's already early evening.

Maybe Red and Purple are worried!

Of course they are.

What else would they be?

I feel scared to go back tomorrow.

I'm sure Dib will be there.

He'll be waiting for me.

He'll attack me again, I'm certain.

It still hurts.

I hug Gir tightly.

He seems to be the only one I can trust.

But he's just a stuffed animal. I don't have anyone I can trust.

Not completely.

No. That's a lie!

I can trust Red and Purple.

I keep going in the direction of my house.

Finally, I arrive.

I see the door a sliver open.

The house is completely dark.

It all seems so quiet.

Eerily quiet.

I walk in.

I close the door, and see keys dangling on the holder next to it.

I lock the door.

I feel scared.

Something might have happened.

I go to my room.

I try not to worry.

I do worry.

"Gir, what if something happened?"


	5. Chapter 5

Everything is going to be fine.

Just fine. Just perfectly fine.

I'm just tired and paranoid from the first day of school.

That's it.

Red and Purple are probably just out getting something.

I hold Gir tightly.

I hope that nothing bad has happened to them.

Nobody else loves me.

Not at all.

They punish me, but it's my fault when I misbehave.

.My heart rate increases.

I don't know what I'll do without them.

I have to leave my room. But I don't want to.

That doesn't matter.

I'm going to do it. I am _Zim_!

The thought echos in my mind.

What if I'm not actually loved?

That's not true. I know I'm loved.

If I wasn't they wouldn't need to help me behave properly.

I go out of my room now.

The shadows cast frightening shapes across the walls.

"Gir, we've got to be brave now," I whisper. I wish Gir was alive and real.

Not just a stuffed toy.

"Red? Purple?" My voice is loud Andy clear. I get no response.

My heart seems to be going a kilometer a second.

Where are they?

I am _Zim_! I am brave.

I'll find them.

They're still here, I don't need to worry.

They're just not responding.

I look to see where their rooms are.

I know I'm going to get punished if they're in there.

But I really need to check.

"Come on Gir," I say, and go to one of the doors, cautiously opening it.

I nearly want to faint at the sight I get.

Or, the lack of it.

I don't believe it.

It's not real.

Everything is gone, expect for a note.

It seems to have a phone number on it.

I feel hot tears welling up in my eyes.

They're all gone.

They left me.

They left me all alone.

Why did they leave me? Was I bad?

Did they get mad at me and decide to punish me by leaving me alone?

I don't know what happened.

I'm scared at what might have happened.

I've got only one option to do.

But I really don't want to have to be doing it. At all.

I feel sick.

"Gir, we're calling the number."


	6. Chapter 6

My hand trembles as I dial the number on the note.

I don't have any idea what I should expect.

Were they kidnapped? Why did they leave?

The phone isn't ,answered immediately.

But soon, I get a response.

"Hello?" I try to sound brave, but inside I feel like I'm about to die.

I don't get a response.

"Who is this?" I ask. I get silence, but someone finally answered.

"Look, we had to...leave," It sounded like a poor imitation of Red.

"Who are you!? What did you do to my brothers!?" I panic. What was happening? I wish I could just wake up and have this be a dream.

I shout at the person on the phone, demanding answers, but interrupting them whenever they started to answer me. I don't care.

"Listen, kid. They're all alive and well. Just go about your life, they'll probably be back soon," the unknown person says when I took a break from speaking for a few seconds to catch my breath.

I don't believe them.

But I have no choice.

"Yes. Okay," I hang up.

I never want to talk to them ever again.

I want to curl up into a ball and stop.

Stop everything.

Take time off from dealing with my life.

I want someone.

Anyone.

Anyone to come.

Anyone to comfort me.

Or to help me.

I feel paralyzed.

I feel helpless.

I stare out of the window.

I put Gir on the windowsill.

The other children are playing outside.

With eachother.

I see them smile, seemingly without a care in the entire world.

I turn away.

I can't do anything else.

I have nobody to talk to.

Nothing I can do.

And I still have to go to school tomorrow.

Red and Purple would surely want me to.

I lay down on the carpet, clutching Gir close to me.

I feel the pain, internal and physical pulsing through me.

"Gir, I don't know what I can do anymore."


	7. Chapter 7

**This is from the POV of Gaz. I'll inform you again if it isn't from the main character's POV.**

Here we go again.

Apparently, the new kid's an alien.

According to my brother, Dib, at least.

It's always something. Since this weekend, it's been a Bigfoot in our garage.

He said he heard and saw it.

He dragged me out, frantically pointing at nothing.

He seems to have let go of it right now.

It's Zim now.

Now we've got an imaginary alien in his class.

It's Tuesday evening.

I doubt I'd ever care what he thought if one factor was removed.

That it can cause consequences.

Big ones.

Like calling the government about a monster he saw.

Or maybe depriving himself of sleep to catch the creature in his closet.

Or, as he says proudly, chasing a disguised alien a few blocks.

A few blocks.

What is up with my brother?

He can't tell reality from his fantasyland in his head.

He can hurt himself.

Or others.

So, why do I even humor him?

I leave the room, where he's rambling about hearing some transmission about food or whatever.

I open up my gaming device, determined to ignore him proudly saying how he beat something up.

A few more levels, and the game is finished.

I know I can't shut it out forever.

But I want to.

I really want to.

I try.

I fail.


	8. Chapter 8

**Okay, we're back to the main point of view.**

I get ready to go back.

Though I don't want to.

But I feel as if I must.

I feel as if I'm being forced through some sort of torture on the walk to school. I tread cautiously, avoiding anyone.

I don't know if I'm able to trust anyone, so I take no chances.

I approach my destination.

I hold my breath as I walk in, scared Dib, or someone else like him, will notice me.

Nobody does, but I don't feel any relief as I walk into the classroom.

It's as if I'm being lured into a trap. But I know that I am.

But I don't know what the trap will be.

I'm unable to listen to my teacher.

Nobody seems to care.

But at the same time, I know that someone does.

Dib.

I don't understand it.

I can feel his eyes piercing into me like daggers.

I don't return the look.

Instead, I try to focus on something.

Anything.

My sight lands on nothing I can fake interest in.

School goes on for an eternity.

Anxiety grows inside me, to the point of running outside as soon as the bell rings to avoid anything happening to me.

I hope Red and Purple understand, but I doubt it.

But then I remember.

They're gone.

Possibly never going to come back.

I push that thought out.

They have to come back.

I know they'll come back!

I just have to wait for them.

I never look back until I get home.

I do nothing after securing everything in the house.

I say nothing.


	9. Chapter 9

I feel short of breath.

It's as if Dib never stopped chasing me.

I'm sure I'm just tired.

But it feels completely different.

I don't know if that is what's happening.

I know nothing anymore.

I don't know what to do about it.

There's only one thing that I can think of.

I just want to die.

Not to stop living.

To stop thinking.

Worrying.

I'm infinitely screaming inside.

And I hate it.

I want to let everyone know.

But I can't.

I wonder if I should call the phone number again.

I don't.

Instead I go to the entrance of where I found the note, and just sit there.

"I'm sorry..." I whisper.

"Is is my fault?"

Perhaps it is.

I let a small wail escape my lips.

I allow myself to lose balance.

What I fall on is colder than I remember it.

Or am I just warmer than I remember?

It doesn't matter.

Not when I'm feeling as if it's all going to be over any second. If it would be, it might be a relief.

I can hear tortured screams inside my head.

I don't know what to do.

The noise is unbearable.

My conscience sways, and brings my thoughts with it.

I would almost dare to say I'm at peace.

Finally, it stops, and all of this seems to have ended.

But I'm falling.

Down, lower than I've ever been.

I close my eyes.

I make way for a darkness.

Perhaps death feels like this?

But I know I'm still alive.

I again remain quiet, losing the will to do nearly anything.

It's just me.

Descending.

 **Sorry for not updating for a while! It's that time of year with tests and everything like that.**


	10. Chapter 10

My mind is swirling.

Each new thought is corrupted into a nightmare.

I am unable to cry out for any help.

Fear grips me.

Red and Purple are abandoning me.

Dib is attacking and attempting to kill me.

I can't distinguish thoughts from reality.

Everyone's staring at me.

I'm screaming.

Someone threw me into a fire, it burns.

I notice I'm in water now.

Pain doesn't leave me.

People are throwing things at me.

Let it stop.

Make it stop.

"Help! Help!" I can talk now.

Nobody listens.

Instead, they laugh at the freak I am.

Whatshisnamezim?

I hate it.

I feel my body clench up.

I get let out of it, only to get caught up into another one.

People are all examining me like an alien.

They call something.

I can't tell what's happening, but I'm again in pain.

I wake up.

I can't tell if it's another dream, though. I only think I did.

I try to stand up, but I feel too weak to.

I don't know why.

Did something happen?

I feel myself falling into the floor.

The dreams all start again, each progressing to be worse and worse, until it's unbearable.

I'm screaming and yelling.

I'm awake and asleep at the same time

It doesn't make any sense.

I finally accept it.

Taunts and insults are thrown at me.

I have one more thought left in my mind.

 _I must find them..._

But that now rushes away, a vague memory.

A whisper of a thought.

Perhaps I'm not going to find them.

But I must try.

I feel unable to move or talk after I wake up.

 _GIR, where are you? Oh, there you are, right next to..._


	11. Chapter 11

**I have decided to quit this in order to write pointless parodies. (Not really, sorry for inactivity!)**

I feel strange.

I try to get to the door, but barely make it.

I still don't feel quite right.

But I've got a goal.

To find Red and Purple, no matter what I must do, or how hard it seems.

I'll find a way.

I'm positive.

Absolutely positive.

I take a deep breath and attempt to go outside. It's slightly easier.

"Okay, you're almost there," I whisper to myself.

The sky above is full of stars.

How long have I been inside?

Hours perhaps.

But I can't let that bother me now. Not at all.

The night air is cold, and it feels as if my skin might freeze at any moment.

A light rain breaks out, and I hear the crackle of thunder.

I notice I left Gir inside.

I go back to get him, and get an umbrella as well.

I'm sure that I'll need on.

I go outside again.

I can feel safety witch a plasticy fabric over my head, having wet droplets bouncing away once they touch it.

I can barely see, but I take a step.

And then another.

And another.

Another.

But a thought races though my mind.

That this is all for nothing.

Or that, maybe, I'm going to get lost.

And never find my way back home.

At least, to the place I shelter.

I can't quite tell if it even is my home anymore.

"Gir, I'm scared."


	12. Chapter 12

The drops of rain pound down on my umbrella, and it feels as if it could break under the weight of them.

It feels like the rain could drown me.

Perhaps it would be nicer if I drowned.

Death would bring me no worries.

I step outside of the umbrella.

It's not as strong as it sounds when it hits down.

I step back in and keep on walking.

I feel something wet brush my skin.

I look down.

It's Gir.

I hold him inside, hoping without rain the fabric will dry.

I see a bright light.

I can't quite see its source.

Maybe it will lead somewhere safe. I follow it.

Two shapes appear.

They seem to be the cause of the light.

I turn to see if anything else like that is near.

Something hits me on the hip. I'm not sure what.

I feel myself falling onto a hard ground.

I let out a cry of pain.

I hear a sound of something skidding to a halt.

The lights turn off.

Then a sound like a door opening.

Hurried footsteps.

"Oh my god. Oh my fuckin' god, are you alright? Shit, I messed up. Oh my god. Oh my god!" A man's voice is screaming. I'm confused.

What even happened?

I can sense someone approaching me.

"Shit, you're bleeding. I can see it coming through!"

"God. Oh my god, I'm so sorry! Um... What do I do? What do I do? I'm so sorry!" Whoever is talking is obviously panicking now.

"Just... Uh... Stay here. I'll fix this! Fuck!" The footsteps hurry off somewhere.

I don't know what to say.

"Gir, what's happening?"

Then I notice Gir's missing.


	13. Chapter 13

Things fade into darkness.

I can vaguely hear the voice talking.

I'm unable to make it all out.

"I was...hit a boy...not sure if..."

There is a pause.

"I'm at...unresponsive, please..."

There's another, longer pause.

"Thank you."

I can't hear anything anymore.

I fall into a dreamless sleep.

The next thing I know, there's a wail of a siren.

I open my eyes.

I can make out someone standing over me.

"He's awake!" a lady shouts.

Someone moves my body somewhere.

What happened?

I was walking somewhere.

Something might of hit me.

I lost Gir.

My name is Zim.

"Okay, load him!"

What I'm laying on moves.

It's brighter in it.

I see a light overhead.

Everything seems to be white.

At least, the ceiling is.

"Where am I?" I ask, feeling dazed.

"You're in an-" I don't hear the rest of what's being said, though.

I feel tiredness gnawing at me.

I give in to it.

* * *

 **Sorry that was so short. I'll make the next chapter longer, for sure!**


	14. Chapter 14

I can hear vague murmurs again.

"There was...unable to...after."

"What did...like?"

"It was...rather small."

The talking ceases.

At least, I can't hear it anymore.

I feel a pain just above my eyes.

"Will...I can't bear...him!"

Something feels different.

I can't quite tell what.

"Did you...or anyone...him?"

"No."

"Wait for him...his consciousness...talk to..."

I feel tired.

I allow a warm darkness to descend upon me.

A while later, I get up.

I must have fallen asleep.

"Hello?" It's the voice from earlier, and I can see a face of a man.

"Are you alright?"

I nod, nervous.

What's going to happen next?

"You should get more sleep. I'm going to my home now."

"Okay..." I'm still in a half-dazed state.

He smiles, and walks off.

For once, I can feel as if everything might just be okay.

For sure this time.

 **The End**

* * *

"I'll make the next chapter longer" But here, it's finished. Go and think what might come next for yourself, sorry if this seems a bit rushed.


End file.
